The internet is an amazing place of connectivity, and through that, people sometimes get to interact with artists they admire…
I can’t remember exactly when I started following Drew Roulette, visual artist and bassist in the art-rock band Dredg, but I’ve been following him for awhile now on both Facebook and Instagram (@drewroulette). I’ve met him on a few occasions, too. I even had the pleasure of having lunch with him on one of those occasions, along with a few other musicians.
(If I’m being honest, I’d never expect him to remember me, and I’m fine with that. I’m a photographer and the way I see it; we’re not necessarily meant to be remembered in the moment.)
Anyways #HumbleBragOver
A month ago, Drew unveiled what he was calling #TheMysteryRiddleShow to the world. Tucked away in a quaint San Francisco boutique, hung five, uniquely original paintings. With a twist…
“Solve the riddles of the paintings and win the painting!”
What a fucking cool idea, right?! They’re super rad paintings too! Full of color, imagery and thought provoking character. They all fall into what could be considered a “Drew Roulette Style.” Each, so different than the next, yet all colorfully connected.
Unfortunately for us internet goblins, the contest only ran “in-person.”
San Francisco is three hours away, so I pushed the idea of ever owning a painting to the deepest reaches of my mind and submitted to forgetting about the contest.
Flash forward almost a month after the paintings were unveiled.
It’s Thursday, August 23rd 2019 and I awake having no idea I would be soon embarking on what could be considered a four-day, non-stop journey of pure, adrenaline-fueled anxiety.
At this point, I can’t remember if it was morning or night when I first read it, but at some point during the day I opened Instagram and saw it:
“Hello Riddlers! I am now opening up this paintings (Allegory C) riddle to the World Wide Web! Submit from anywhere! First one to send me the correct answer wins the painting. There have been so many guesses thus far but all incorrect. Can you solve the riddle? #TheMysteryRiddleShow”
HOLY SHIT! GAME. FUCKING. ON!
Allegory #C is a strange painting. Its central imagery is a hand, split almost in two with the ring finger separated, and the remaining fingers holding a crying eyeball. To the left of the hand are 5 platonic solids, each in a different color, and each with a letter between them, written in Morris Code (E A G E R). To the right of the hand, a swan head with two eggs balanced upon them. Above the eggs, a capitol E with an accent mark next to it (E´)…
W T F?
So, okay, let’s back up. Let’s do some research before we jump into this riddle. Let’s find out what the 3 previously answered paintings are all about…
The first painting is a repeating wallpaper pattern of different icons. Nancy from the vintage comic strip, but she has a bulls-eye in place of her face. A serpent head. A spoon full of warm liquid. A flower and an upside down rainbow. In the top right corner there seems to be a dripping puddle of color and in the bottom right, the Hebrew symbol for 5…
Stumped?
It’s “Coco Chanel No.5”
Drew had this to say when asked to explain his reasoning behind the painting and title:
Okay, wow.
It’s got less to do with the details and more to do with the overall theme? Got it. Let’s move on.
The second answered painting is nuts. It’s this colorful interweaving design swirling around an angry door knocker. The face in the center has 3 eyes, is gritting its teeth while holding the hanging knocker ring (which has a tiny F written on it.) At the top of the painting sits a yellow bird with a speech bubble, saying something to the effect of “Bread No Cheese.” Above the bubble is a single yellow dot. At the foot of the painting is a Morris Code key and beneath it sits a single letter in Morris Code: Three dots and a dash – “V”.
This is really tough, right?
The answer is “Beethoven’s 5th Symphony”
Here, let me make you angry.
Literally all you needed to answer that riddle was to speak the Morris Code out loud:
“Bum Bum Bum Buuuuum.”
Crazy, right?
The third riddle to be solved is a doozy. I think the painting could be considered somewhat unsettling, but I digress. It’s the face of a black panther with what seems like a human nose. Red eyes and fangs exposed. A rainbow third eye placed above the mouth with a tiny “window” written between the eye and the nose. Some kind of golden symbol on its forehead that I still haven’t figured out. A yellow dot on the panther’s tongue. Above the head is a strawberry, a green sphere and a green “V”. Beneath the head, a cube of watermelon…
It’s the “5 Second Rule”
Okay! Let’s assess. Taking what we know, we’ve got a trend!
Five paintings.
It seems like there’s a derivative of “five” in each title.
Each painting seems to have something to do with each of the five senses.
Five. Five. Five. Five. Five.
Let’s get back to the task at hand!
“Allegory #C” The bane of my current existence.
Let the Google searching begin!
“hand, eye, swan, platonic, eggs, eager, five”
Nothing comes back of significance.
Well, off the top of my head, I know “eager-eyed” is a phrase. So let’s take a shot. I open up Instagram and send off my first submission.
Drew replies: “There is a 5 in the answer”
Great! That narrows it down!
More Google searching.
“famous, five, 5, fifth, 5th, phrase, eager”
Nothing.
I begin sending the image to my friends. I get my girlfriend involved. I fall asleep thinking about the painting.
The next day (Friday the 24th), I’m supposed to attend a concert in the evening to celebrate an achievement of my Father’s. I wake up and spend all day at work Google searching. My girlfriend and I make it to the concert somehow. I’m Google searching. I’m asking strangers around me if they can help figure out the painting.
More Google searching.
We get home for the night, but I’m up until 2AM Google searching and cross referencing.
The next morning, I awake early and the painting is the first thing I look at. My friends are still on the hunt with me. My Mom has gotten involved.
I realize Drew has a website (drewroulette.com). Maybe there’s a clue there!?
There isn’t necessarily a new clue, but there’s an angle of Allegory #C we haven’t seen on Instagram. It’s got way more detail and you can easily make out the little symbols!
Holy shit, there’s a “4” and a “$” in the eggs! There’s a “2nd” on the hand!
4$? FOR SALE?!
The Swan. The changing shapes. E A G E R. Eggs. Money.
EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE ABOUT “CHANGE“!
Google searching.
“4, $, 2nd, eggs, swan, five, 5, platonic solids, eye, hand, eager, change, transformation, balance, renew, rebirth.”
Nothing.
WTF. WHY is this so hard?!
Saturday is a blur; my phone never leaves my hand. I’m a moderately healthy 33-year-old and for the first time in my life, I can physically tell my blood pressure is up. There’s a ball of anxiety building in the pit of my stomach.
SOMEONE IS GOING TO FIGURE THIS OUT BEFORE ME, I JUST KNOW IT!
Gotta move faster, gotta extend my Google searches beyond what’s obvious. Are there any details in the painting I’ve missed?
SHIT! The little yellow dots in each of the paintings are clues pointing you towards the 5 senses!
It might seem obvious, but I’m now COMPLETELY convinced this painting has to do with the sense of sight!
Google searching.
“swan, eggs, golden, money, sight, seeing, five, 5th, fifth, hand, eye, 2nd, vision, solids, sale, eager”
Nothing.
Okay, let’s take a step back and think for a minute. The E´ above the swan is the Greek numeral for 5. Great.
Five. Five. Five. Five. Five.
Everywhere I’m seeing five.
Google searching.
“Greek, swan, eye, sight, five”
My girlfriend says “Leda and the Swan” keeps coming back as a major result for her.
Whoa! Okay, what’s this all about? Nothing to do with 5, that’s what!
But it gets me in the mindset that MAYBE the title of Allegory #C is the title of a different painting?
Google searching.
“paintings, famous, five, 5, sight, colors, sale, swan, eager”
Jackson Pollack’s “No.5” comes back.
A famous painting that was, at one time, the most expensive painting ever auctioned.
I message Drew: “Jackson Pollock’s No. 5”
He replies: “Good guess with Pollock”
Thanks, I try! Fuck my brain.
At this point, I’m throwing caution to the wind. I’m now messaging Drew every answer I can think of.
I get “It will be obvious if you figure it out” as a reply.
Obvious?! Okay.
My girlfriend doesn’t think Drew would name a painting after another painting. Let’s put a pin in that idea then.
Drew posts a clue on Facebook.
IT’S A FUCKING SECOND HAND! 2ND HAND!
A detail you can only really see in the image on his website, no one is mentioning the second hand. I’M IN THE LEAD!
My girlfriend’s brother says maybe it’s “split second” because the hand is almost cut in half.
Google searching.
“secondhand, 2nd hand, split second, five, 5 fifth, 5th, clock, face, time, money, $, 4, eager.”
Nothing.
At this point, I’m getting angry. I’m an artist and I’ve been thinking about this fucking painting for 2 days straight now. I should know this!
It HAS to have something to do with Plato, right?
Wrong. Nothing.
I look up photos and movies with removed eyeballs.
Nothing stands out.
I head to Wikipedia and search just the number “5“.
Thousands of results come up. I begin scrolling down the list, hoping something, anything will pop out at me. An hour goes by and I’m just as lost as I was when I began. I end up going to the Wikipedia page for the basic number 5. It’s got so much information about the development of the number and where it’s referenced in arts and literature. “Chanel No. 5“, “Beethoven’s 5th Symphony” & “5 Second Rule” are ALL on the list.
FUCK, THE ANSWER HAS GOT TO BE ON THIS LIST SOMEWHERE!?
I’m reading, rereading, and cross referencing terms with “five” in it. I’m convincing myself at this point it has something to do with either a painting, a film, a photograph or a ballet. Something visual. I’m looking up every movie with “five” in it.
Nothing stands out as obvious.
My friends are getting annoyed with me and my incessant texting. My best friend tells me I’m starting to get weird about it and maybe I should “eat some fruit.” I realize I haven’t been eating in the past two days. This is getting serious.
I message Drew a flurry of guesses. It’s getting towards the end of Saturday and I don’t hear back.
Sunday rolls around and I’m back at it, Google searching as early as my eyes open.
Drew replies around 11:30AM:
“I really appreciate all the submissions. It seems like you are just guessing everything with 5 in it. What is the explanation why? Why these guesses. Like I said before, it will be obvious when you know. You won’t be sending me submissions asking if it is correct, you will say “I won” so until then….”
Wow, that’s probably the nicest way anyone has ever told me to fuck off before.
Okay, I need to be confident in my next guess because it HAS to be the right one. I hear you loud and clear Drew!
I’m not entirely sure if I even exist in reality at this point anymore. It’s been 3 straight days. My Mom is sending me guesses, my friends aren’t responding to me anymore, my girlfriend is entertaining my delusions and still helping as much as she can. I’ve completely roped her into my madness.
It’s at this point I notice a new detail! The eyeball seems to have the word “Naked” painted on it!
NAKED EYE!?
I’m staring at the painting from across the room. I’m shadow boxing the air to release my anxiety. I’m considering dropping acid to get into a different headspace. I think I’m dying.
Google searching.
Google Searching.
Nothing but Google searching.
I could give examples of my searches here, but they’re all over the place. I’m searching groups of words that have no business being together. I’m looking up every famous painter, director and photographer skimming all of their “most famous” works looking for a title with a five in it.
GOD I WISH IT HAD BEEN THAT FUCKING POLLACK PAINTING!
Drew begins giving out clues in his Facebook and Instagram posts:
“Specifically seen, something to be seen. Made to be seen”
WHAT THE FUCK IS ONLY MEANT TO BE SEEN!?
Google is still no help.
WHAT THE FUCK DOES MONEY AND A STARFISH HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING!?
Google is absolutely no help.
The human mind is a powerful thing, when allowed to obsess, it quickly devolves into hysterics. I literally can’t get the number five out of my mind. I joke with my girlfriend that in a month I’ll need to be institutionalized because I won’t be able to say anything other than “five – swan – eager – sale”. We laugh. It’s not a joke. I’m finding fives in things that don’t have 5 in them. I’m seeing and hearing things in 5ths.
I’m not exaggerating when I tell you I think I searched Google for everything possibly related to “five”. I’m looking at artwork, poems, sonnets, cross-referencing old religious texts. I begin seeing the world through the falling Matrix code, except it’s all green 5’s. I’ve lost weight. My girlfriend and dog are beginning to feel neglected.
There’s no time, I’m behind in the race and I’m seeing “five” in everything. I’m considering converting to the church of Drew and pledging my life to the all holy Five.
I’ve been going in circles for days. Nothing new is coming up. I know so much about Rembrandt’s series of paintings on the five senses now. I can nearly recite Shakespeare’s 5th Sonnet. Five corners of a star. Five fingers. If this goes on for 5 whole days, I might end up 5’ing myself.
Five. Five. Five. Five. Five.
Okay. I can’t do this, there isn’t enough to go off of. It’s too conceptual. I need sleep. I need release from this mental prison.
I decide I’m done for the weekend. “Tomorrow Drew will post more clues,” I tell myself. Please god, just let someone answer this fucking riddle by the time I awake. I just want the pain to go away.
Monday arrives. I’m refreshing Drew’s Instagram and Facebook constantly from the moment I’m coherent, hoping there’s a new clue.
My boss is a friend and knows I’m obsessed; he lets me use his office for research. Great, I’m completely worthless to anyone at this point anyways, so let’s just spend the day nauseous in the corner.
I’m contemplating calling Hand & Eye Society on the phone and begging for clues. They’re closed until Wednesday.
I don’t remember leaving work, but I head to my parent’s house. My Dad does his best to help. He’s adamant it has something to do with Dali.
My phone is about to die, I need to head home and charge it.
Drew begins handing out clues on Instagram. I screen cap them all.
I reverse Google Search the image of Andre Breton by Man Rey and get a result.
FUCK! IT’S SURREALISM! FUCK FUCK FUCK!
I spend the next 15 minutes driving from my parent’s house to mine.
I’m Google searching every surrealist painting I can find looking for “five.” I find the Starfish by Man Ray. Is the film a clue somehow?!
Google tells me nothing.
Someone on Facebook asks for more clues, Drew obliges but deletes the post immediately, replacing it with a different clue.
Too slow Drew, I’ve been watching constantly and I saw that first image. I even screen capped it.
Reverse Google image search.
FUCK! IT’S A DALI PHOTO! FUCK! DREW IS OBVIOUSLY A DALI FAN! FUCK FUCK! MY DAD AND GIRLFRIEND WERE RIGHT! FUUUUUCK!
And then I place the search…
It was by far the simplest of all of my Google searches.
No flair, no pomp and circumstance.
So elegant.
Just two simple words sitting in a white search box:
“Dali, Nude”
…And there it was.
Tucked away in the deep recesses of the internet an image sat before me. I would say it’s in no way a well-known painting, but at this point I don’t know what’s familiar and what isn’t.
You were right Drew, it’s fucking OBVIOUS.
My heart races as I highlight the painting title. My hands begin to shake as I paste it into our DM conversation. I hit Send.
Drew begins to type, then stops, then starts again. I’m not kidding when I say I think my heart paused for a few beats. My breathing is quick and my brow begins to sweat.
His reply comes through:
“Holy shit, you were literally 5 minutes too late!!! Omg!!!!! You guessed it!!! Finally!!! I’m going to send you a free print for your efforts. Announcing now”
My entire body begins to shake as the feeling of defeat washes over me. My eyes well up with tears. My face has gone completely numb. My brain reads and rereads Drew’s response hoping my eyes have made a mistake.
…god …fucking …damnit.
Four days. Four days straight. Only to come in 5 minutes too late.
I can’t believe my luck. This is so classic me.
I send messages off to everyone who’s helped. Friends reply with “Kudos to you for figuring it out!” and “That’s so nice he’s sending you a print!”
Yeah, you’re right, Drew is the sweetest. He was in no way obligated to offer me that print but I’m so happy that he did.
Drew went on to apologize to me, saying I “fought the good fight but in all fairness, the winner came out just ahead.”
As an art kid, I think this is the closest I’ll ever be to truly understanding what professional athletes feel like when they come in second place… 2nd place… 2nd hand. Fuck me.
So here I am, at work, Tuesday, August 27th looking back on the past weekend I’ve just experienced. The feeling of anxiety hasn’t really gone away and life just seems, somehow, less interesting now that the riddle has been solved.
But what have I learned from all of this? Other than the fact that I’m amazingly good at wasting time?
I think, the answer for me, is that we’re all just looking for someone to tell us what direction to look in. To give us each a sense of purpose in our daily lives. Some fill the void with work, some with drugs, some with art.
All it took was Drew to ask, “what does this mean?” and myself, along with dozens of other people, were happy to jump at the task. Just to give us something to focus on. Just to feel like we were a part of something. And at the end of the day, I feel like that was accomplished this weekend. I now have a story to tell and a wealth of useless information about the number 5.
…FIVE (5) MINUTES TOO LATE!? FUCK!
Or, maybe, deep down we all just really enjoy a good puzzle?
I don’t know. Whatever. It’s all over now anyways.
Well, kind of… There’s still the 5th painting that has, at this point, still yet to be answered! Check it out for yourself. Can you guess the riddle? I’m not even going to try.
*08-28-19 EDIT: Literally, as i’m writing this someone has answered the final riddle!*
it’s “Interstate 5”
Drew has said he plans on committing to a second Mystery Painting Riddle Series next year. My girlfriend and I hope to travel to the next show and see what he has in store when the time comes.
I need to get back to reality. I need to hug my girlfriend and tell her I love her. I need to hug my dog.
What a wild ride.
Go check out Drew’s website and Instagram. He’s amazing and Dredg is amazing, please take the time to listen and support them.
Later in the year I plan on buying one of his paintings. For $300.00 he’ll paint you something based off a single word you give him. I’m going to do “Regret.”
Thank you Drew, thank you Internet, congratulations to @nadia_amasifen you earned it, and fuck you Salvador Dali.
Hopefully now I can reach some sense of closure.
Thanks for reading!
PS: Hindsight might be 20/20, but foresight seems to be about 50/50.
